Zach's Nip/Tuck Procedure - "Jenny Juggs"

What kind of crazy stuff can Nip/Tuck throw at us this week? How about mime crime, attempted murder by carbon monoxide, and psychotic feminist strippers? I’ve got my popcorn and my Dr. Pepper (the ideal TV snack), and I’m ready to go.

Sean wants Matt to get a real job because he thinks (like all of us do) that mime is ridiculous. But when Matt procures a wad of cash, it seems everything is copasetic. But his life as the supercriminal “The Mime” is starting to get to him, as is the pressure of child support for his child with Kimber.

Money troubles continue on the show (how timely), but Sean and Teddy are moving in together at a new place. Sean’s son Conor is coming to town, too, which means there will either be a happy family reunion or Teddy’s potentially murderous plans are coming to fruition. Poor lonely Christian drowns his sorrows at a strip joint where he meets patient of the week, the juggernaut-chested and more than appropriately named Jenny Juggs, who Christian invites into the surgical suite for a reconstructive procedure. This is his worst pick-up line yet, but I’ll bet that he beds this “tit terrorist” before the hour is up.

Meanwhile, Annie is still being a bitch, this time about being a vegetarian. But everyone has to clean up their act when Conor shows up. He’s awful shy, and Teddy realizes she really has no in with these kids. So let’s start over, she says, and let’s go camping! The last time an evil step-mother went camping was “The Parent Trap,” and we all remember how that ended up.

With his neck in traction, Christian feels he was unlawfully assaulted by Jenny Juggs, and so he’s out to prove that crime doesn’t pay (the theme of the episode). As Linda shows Liz her new iPhone, Jenny shows up at McNamara/Troy fresh out of lockup. Turns out that she has major psychological issues and a complete body-image misfire, so she’s here for a breast reduction, which Christian consents to after being heavily guilt-tripped about “healing” her.

Teddy has her heart set on this camping trip, under the guise of getting closer to Annie. Though Annie’s really gotten despicable this season, we don’t want to see her get whacked by Evil Teddy. But when Sean and Christian go down to the boardwalk to see Matt’s act, they learn that someone dressed like a mime has been robbing people. They leave Teddy alone with Annie, which is a seriously bad move, because Teddy’s threatening the little girl with admission to a camp for mentally disturbed teenage girls.

Matt gets put into a mime line-up, which devolves very quickly into an absurdist pairing of silent acting and accordion music. But the Chinese florist can’t remember who robbed her, so Matt’s off the hook. Sean and Christian aren’t convinced, though, because – let’s be serious – Matt hasn’t exactly been the most clean-cut character on this show (and that’s saying something). Matt pulls the mime-up card and gets cleared of suspicion with his two daddies.

On the camping trip, Teddy jams some pharmaceuticals into the s’mores, and the recipe even wins over Annie Anorexia. Back at home, Christian goes through some post-op counseling with Jenny, who’s still a neurotic mess despite going down to a C-cup. She dumps a bedpan on Christian, who decides to press charges on the psychotic stripper. And lit only by moonlight, Teddy smiles like a real creeper and fantasizes about kid-killing and inheritance-stealing. She takes the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm, cranks the heat up, and gets her kill-face on, locking the McNamaras inside the trailer just in time for a commercial break.

Teddy goes and makes nice with a neighboring camper who’s playing some opera. She must watch a lot of CSI, because this is a solid alibi. Back in the trailer, Annie wakes up as Teddy follows Camper Jerry into some creepy woods to watch a meteor shower. Some solid juxtaposition as far as direction goes, as singing, stars, and suffocating McNamaras all collide in an ooky montage. Just as the McNamaras bust out, Teddy gets abducted by Jerry and runs back to the now-empty camping trailer as Jerry lurks out of focus.

With Teddy unaccounted for, the McNamaras are rescued by a passing patrolman, and Matt resumes his life of mime crime. But Matt’s target has a shotgun hidden under the counter, and things don’t look good for Bloody Mime Matt by the end of the episode.

Verdict? Wow. This episode reminded me a lot of the Season Three finale, when we learned the identity of season-long serial killer The Carver in a fantastic montage scored by a non sequitur tango track. Here we’ve got a lot of the season’s storylines building to a head, all with operatic tra-la-la’ing in the background. Things don’t look good for anyone on the show, but the show continues its climb from dredgy drama up into the realm of that perfect comedy/drama blend we’ve come to expect from the most superficial show on the tube.