Zach's Gleecap - "Hairography"

Sue’s back, and that can only mean one thing – duplicity. And snarky remarks. Those, too.

The episode starts with a bang – Sue reappears with all the snarling charm we missed last week, demanding to see the set list for sectionals and installing Illiterate Brittany as a spy. What’s worse is that she seems to be leaking information to the competition. Will drives down to the detention facility – Competitor #1 – to speak with this week’s special guest star Eve, who takes umbrage at the allegation. To apologize, Will lets the JDs practice in his auditorium for a “scrimmage.”

These delinquents can deliver, with a “Bootylicious” performance and the strangest ad hoc costumes yet. They’re right – I wasn’t ready for this AT ALL. How ever will the glee kids match their wholesome image up against a veritable gang of singers? Rachel’s not worried, insisting that the other team is playing a smoke and mirrors game of “hairography.” Will’s solution, oddly enough, is to sing a song from “Hair” and wear giant wigs.

Puck steals a parenting book for Quinn, who swoons but wants acceptance and an elastic waistband; poor girl’s confused about her feelings for Puck. So Quinn asks Kurt to give pantsuited Rachel a makeover, and the fashionista scheming begins. While Terri continues her pregnancy charade but fears she won’t be able to keep it up for much longer, Kurt waxes Rachel’s eyebrows and aims to broaden her appeal. But when Rachel confesses she’s in love with Finn, Kurt knows exactly what to do – dress Rachel like Sandy in “Grease.”

Quinn drops the mother of all bombs on Terri – she’s planning on keeping the baby. The deaf school (guest star Michael Hitchcock, another hilarious Christopher Guest alum like Jane Lynch) knocks down Will’s door and gripes that his kids weren’t invited to the scrimmage. After a few hearing misfires, the battle is on. The baby battle, though, brews on, and Terri’s sister develops a top-notch plan: once Quinn spends five minutes babysitting, she’ll want to abandon her “mongrel” at first chance.

Rachel struts into school, and Finn’s head over heels. This gives Quinn the perfect moment to co-babysit with Puck, and Brittany finds out that she’s got a valid skill set – she’s a master of hairography (“cool epilepsy,” as she dubs it). Sue is most displeased with the “demeaning fruity hair-tossing” and threatens to return as co-director. Finn starts getting confused about Rachel’s new “sad clown hooker” look and admits that he likes the “sequined leg warmers.” Both of them realize that Kurt has been sabotaging the whole shebang since day one.

Babysitting turns out to be a disaster when Puck and Quinn get tied up by the three little hellions, but they bust free and serenade the tots with “Papa Don’t Preach” (which might not be the most appropriate song for three little kids, but just think of the symbolism). The night is a success, and Puck and Quinn learn that maybe this parenting thing isn’t all too complicated. Rachel confronts Kurt, who breaks the news that neither one of them has a shot with Finn. And Background Cheerleader #3 tells Quinn to back off of Puck, claiming they were “sexting” while P&Q were playing house.

The hairography number is a distracting mess of thrashing heads, and the deaf kids are not amused. Even Will seems slightly bamboozled. When the deaf kids take the stage with John Lennon’s “Imagine,” the singing isn’t pitch-perfect, but the mixture of sign language and inspiring messages tells the glee kids that they need to scale their performances down – and join in for a duet of sorts. When Quinn finds out that Background Cheerleader Santana wasn’t lying about Puck, she’s miffed – especially when Puck refuses to change. This is enough to change Quinn’s mind and give the baby to Terri after all.

“Can we be in love again?” Quinn asks Finn. Absolutely, he replies – there’s a big emotional hugging-it-out in the middle of the hallway. Kurt and Rachel lock eyes and get all depressed about being alone. And Will visits Sue, confessing that he was wrong about being showy, even introducing a “stool choir” number to the set, with Stutter-No-More Tina on lead vocals. But it turns out that Will wasn’t wrong at all – Sue IS trying to give the set list to the rival teams, who don’t bite initially but leave us at a cliffhanger.

Verdict? “Glee” has only got two episodes left to ramp up, but so far it hasn’t been able to live up to the inertia of the first few episodes. With sectionals around the corner, at least we’re starting to get a healthier mash-up of drama and comedy, but the show isn’t quite as funny as I’d like to see it. None of these, though, are buzzkills, since I’m still watching and almost certainly will be for the remainder of the season.